“We have learned to see feminine things as bad. I myself have participated in this and shamed other women for being very feminine. But this is a mistake on my part because it’s not the feminine stuff that is the problem, the problem is the expectation that anybody who is perceived as a woman – dress a certain way, wear a certain kind of clothes, behave a certain way, whatever.
The problem is that feminine things are only for people with vaginas and boobs. The problem is that feminine things are seen as less valuable than masculine things. The problem is the enforcement and the shaming when you’re not feminine.
Rejecting the feminine can be an important critique of oppressive gender roles, so long as that critique doesn’t turn into actual hatred of femininity.”